As part of Mental Health Awareness Week 2025, our Wellbeing Manager and in-house trained psychotherapist, Dan, is taking over the Reform Radio blog. When it comes to mental wellbeing and self-awareness, it can feel like a hard-to-navigate minefield. In this post, Dan invites us to expand our understanding of ourselves by asking ourselves just 5 questions. Here they are, straight from the therapist’s mouth…
Am I treating thoughts as facts?
Thoughts are not facts – perhaps an obvious statement, yet so easily forgotten in the moment. We jump to conclusions and panic, we assume what others are thinking and don’t dare check, we make predictions like they’re ‘going out of fashion’ (this a prediction in itself!) and then lose opportunities. Consider your thoughts carefully. Thoughts that give rise to uncomfortable emotions can often be distorted. What is the evidence for your thought?
Am I relying on ‘Emotional Reasoning’?
Emotional Reasoning is when we rely solely on our feelings to assess the situation. Sure, trusting our gut can be helpful. However, remember, feelings in themselves are rarely able to offer a detailed account of reality. For example, feeling guilty doesn’t automatically make us guilty! Feeling hopeless does not make it hopeless! Feeling shame does not mean we are shameful. Notice your feelings and consider if it is helpful to consider the facts before reacting.
Am I ‘Shame Savvy’?
Guilt is what we might feel because we did something bad. Shame is what we feel because we are bad (or so shame would have you believe). It is one of the most intolerable emotions. Shame makes itself known with “I am …” thoughts that don’t just tell you that there is a problem, or that you created a problem, it tells you YOU are the problem. “I am bad, I am inadequate, I am stupid, I am not good enough” are all signs that shame has crept up on you. When we’re not ‘shame savvy’ by naming shame for what it is (a feeling – not a conclusive character assessment) we can avoid the many barriers it presents to being our authentic selves, taking accountability, feeling enough, and much more.
Am I playing it too safe?
If there’s one thing our mind is great at it’s getting us to avoid the uncomfortable. Of course, it makes sense – as far as our primitive brain is concerned, comfort = safety! Just one problem –discomfort is so often not only a component in the process of personal growth, but conductive to it! Always playing it safe only serves to rob us of fulfilling our potential. In moments where you are invited to rise to a challenge ask yourself: “What matters to me most right now? Avoiding short-term discomfort? Or doing something to support my personal growth?”. Remember, often we can’t do both at the same time.
Am I setting healthy boundaries?
How we set boundaries has a huge impact on the quality and health of our relationships and our mental health. But how often do you say “yes” when you think you should be saying “no”. How often do you take accommodations that feel unfair? Avoid addressing behaviour you don’t feel comfortable with? Poor boundary setting does not make a person “nice”, or “easy going”. In fact, it so often leads to unpleasantness and difficulties down the line, for one or all of those in the relationship. Remember, people who want healthy relationships want you to communicate your boundaries, so they know what is acceptable or not in your relationship. If someone persistently disregards your boundaries, reacts unpleasantly to them, or guilt-trips you for setting them in the first place it may be worth considering whether or not that person can truly offer a healthy and equal relationship.
Listen back to Dan’s recent conversation on The Get Up below.
